*The Company You Keep.
- glendaleout
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Well, dears, Glendale almost had a clean sweep of reason and mental stability this past election season. Alas, minus one: the school board candidate who campaigned illegally (unchecked) and who included witch-hunting children into his campaign, back story here.
Mr. Krekorian's first day on the job inspired Glendale's mental illness ménage à trois to show up and welcome him: Ray Shelton, Mike Mohill, and Beth Brooks. About this line up let The Lady say, should this be what shows up for me under any circumstance I should beg to haste my funeral, it would be the only honorable response.
MAGA got right to it with Ray Shelton dusting off a tired old Ray demonstrating the biological comprehension of a kindergartner.
For the remainder of affairs, we welcome back this gal about town, our roving correspondent once removed. (...and we mean once removed - by authorities. We'll spill the story of that one another day 😉.)
Hello again, Poppets! ’Tis I, your faithful correspondent’s correspondent,
reporting on the recent shenanigans at our local school board meeting. The
occasion was the swearing-in of the newly electeds - one returning incumbent,
one first-timer, and one old fucker coming back like a bad belch from that
cucumber salad you ate for lunch.
Before we could get to that part, though, Scorchy Shelton regaled the room,
which included several children, with some spoken word poetry about Dicks and
Assholes. For a moment, this correspondent thought he had profoundly mis-
remembered a very funny scene from “Team America: World Police,” but alas.
Instead, Scorchy seems to be doing his level best to get a bunch of men in
white coats to cart him away every time he speaks in public. To which I wish him
success post-haste.
Then we got to the good part of the public comments. The ones regarding the
unfortunate return of ol’ Cukey Belches himself: Greg K. Grek? Shrek? (They are
roughly the same shape. And color - he should get that looked at.) It began with
a very nervous but brave young GUSD student - a MINOR - who was targeted
by Shrek during the campaign, in an attempt to score cheap political points. The
details are tedious, but: Shrek accused the student of behavior that he himself
was guilty of. Because with MAGAts, every accusation is a confession. While the
student was speaking, Shrek paced in front of the public seats, muttering about
how unfair the young man was being, because “this was supposed to be my day
to celebrate!” You’d have thought he was a bride watching some random bitch
waltz into his wedding wearing a white dress, rather than an elected official
being held accountable for bad behavior. The queens from Drag Race would’ve
called his performance a bit much.
Next up was a woman with one of the only non-tragic blonde dye-jobs in
Glendale. (This is an excellent indicator of who has gay friends, by the way.
There may be such an offender in Shrek’s immediate family.) She read Shreky
the riot act, primarily because of the campaign videos that he filmed himself and
posted to his public Instagram page on the campus of Hoover High School.
Since Shreky has no kids enrolled there, isn’t on staff, and held exactly zero
roles at the district at that time, by her estimation that made him a Random
Creepy Man on campus. And this correspondent is forced to agree that an RCM
filming videos on a high school campus is a veritable Macy’s Day Parade of red
flags. Unfortunately, some of the people in attendance disagreed with this
conclusion. They attempted to shout her down until the board President
restored order. I couldn’t help but notice those same folks were awful quiet
during Scorchy’s anatomy lesson just a few minutes prior ... hmmm. Okay.
After that speaker left the room, Shrek’s daughter proclaimed loudly that it was
all lies - TERRIBLE LIES! Shrek DID have a student at Hoover High, and it was
HER!! She graduated in 2009!! To which I am forced to say: Sweetie. Darling.
Sweetie Darling. Do you really think that being enrolled there during the first
Obama Administration means fuck-all today? No wonder disingenuous
outsiders are up in arms about Glendale’s test scores - did you not learn basic
subtraction? Because it sounds to me like you made that woman’s point for her.
On the - bright? On the other side, Sweetie Darling was able to speak on behalf of her Shrek, proving possible sub text that supports some people's views about the police and the people who spawn them: household values don't always fall far from the tree (IYKYK).
The rest of us, of course, move really far away.
Why the parade of past city council candidate losers were also there no one knows, none have children at GUSD.
After people got sworn in this correspondent high-tailed it to the clurb
to drown my sorrows, rightfully so: an item to let the citizens of Glendale vote on a future
bond measure would be voted down and we were back to Glendale-as-usual. WHY ARE YOU SO MESSY, GLENDALE?! Jk, never change, xoxo.
Thank you, darling! Always a pleasure.
All the comments in full can be viewed here beginning at the 6:30 mark.
